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4.9 ★★★★★
Based on 13 reviews
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Product Reviews
★★★★★ 5
The perfect parenting book for the perfect time!
Format: Kindle
I really enjoyed the book a lot! I laughed and I cried, then I laughed some more. The way you wrote the book is how I would write something like this. I really appreciated how you described your real life circumstances, most I can relate to… i.e. don’t open another cereal box till the current one is empty, how you threw together Riley’s birthday party but said all-well and let God lead, and how you are a visual learner and your husband lives on an Excel sheet. LOL, so funny! I really loved how you put humor into what can be an exhausting task of parenting, we need the laugh.
On a serious note, it was great that you started w/ the idea of your own heart check before you disciple your children and that the idea is to always discipline in our kids’ best interests. I also loved learning to “protect our kids LESS so we can PREPARE them more.” Our son is in 6th grade this year and boy is that an eye opener and true statement for him. Having good boundaries (rules), decipher each violation, what are his motives, and the consequences (and specific listed ones) were amazing and a huge confirmation for me as we’ve started into the pre-teen years. Thank you so much for a God-led book on parenting when it’s the hardest but most rewarding thing a person can ever do.
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Reviewed in the United States on January 14, 2017
★★★★★ 4
good discussion of discipline, but not anti-spanking as I was lead to believe
Format: Paperback
What I liked:
-Murray encourages parents not to react identically to all "infractions." Children misbehave in different ways and certain behaviors are not as bad as others. It's straight up bad parenting to react the same way in every occasion (e.g. breaking a lamp while rough housing is not the same as cheating on a test at school and should not be addressed identically. "disobedience" is not a catch-all "sin").
-Murray encourages parents to consider developmental abilities (toddlers are toddlers and it is not immoral for them to act like toddlers) and different personalities (perfectionists might seem more well-behaved than their artsy free spirited siblings, but it's just because perfectionists feel more at home in rigidity, while such rigidity suffocates a free spirit).
What I didn't like:
-Murray acts like she doesn't care whether you spank (she makes one small reference in the body of the book and waits to address spanking until an appendix at the end). However, it is clear that she is pro-spanking when she accuses non-spankers of falling into license or a lack of desire to discipline (the only thing spankers have to worry about is abuse, which is such a vague standard). Honestly this appendix really upset me because the rest of the book seemed so positive and powerful and it was disappointing to read after ALL THAT, basically the best discipline for young children is a spank.
But I didn't want to drop the book's rating all the way down to a 2 or 3 because the body of the book really is helpful and much more positive than most conservative, Christian parenting books that automatically center every discipline discussion around "the rod."
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Reviewed in the United States on November 15, 2019
★★★★★ 5
I wish I had read this sooner.
Format: Kindle
This book helped not only my discipline strategies but my faith. I didn’t even realize that I was not raised in a grace-based discipline approach. I’m so thankful that this book helped to convict me on a few things so I can show my daughter God’s love for her more clearly.
I loved her humor. Made it actually really enjoyable to read! Her details are what really helped me. I am the kind of person who learns best from specific examples; this book has some good ones. I loved that there weren’t any muddy concepts and it didn’t get too theoretical type so I could actually understand.
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Reviewed in the United States on September 18, 2019
★★★★★ 5
Excellent resource for Christian parents raising the next generation!
Format: Paperback
I am currently researching and reading materials for a book I’m writing regarding how to build a strong foundation in children before the age of 10. I’ve read quite a few books so far, and I have to say one of my favorites is Grace Based Discipline. The author has done an excellent job, and and her witty humor makes this an enjoyable read! Because of this book, I am ordering the other books that her and her father have written!
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Reviewed in the United States on March 29, 2020
★★★★★ 5
Finally, a practical parenting book!
Format: Kindle
Prior to reading this book, I didn’t feel confident in my approach to discipline. I would read parenting advice from different sources and sway back and forth from one extreme to the other—overly strict to too lenient. The approach of grace based disciple is balanced. The author recognizes that children will act like children and we shouldn’t expect them all to act like little robots. However, they still need discipline (not punishment!) for their misbehavior. She gave very practical lists of what consequences work best at each age and for each personality type, and went beyond that to say how to truly address the deeper issues associated with the misbehavior.
If you are wondering about her view on spanking (because most authors take a very strong stance on this) I think this book is very beneficial no matter which camp you are in. In the appendix, the author addresses spanking in a nonjudgmental way. She gives cautions if you decide to use spanking, and gives cautions if you decide not to use it.
My only criticism of this book is that one chapter talks about how we need to recognize the “home country” (personality) of each member of our household and she suggests using an assessment to determine what “country” your child is from. However, you must pay separately for the assessment and it isn’t cheap. This idea of what “country” you and your children are from is referenced again and again in the book so I feel like it should have been included in the appendix. However, this book is still worth it. Don’t let that keep you from buying it.
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Reviewed in the United States on June 29, 2018